Well, what is all this blog thing about? Good question, I will attempt to give my answer. I’ve just seen my blog live for the first time. Until a few weeks ago, I didn’t know what a blog was. I thought it was something that other people wrote, put on the internet to pass away the time of day or something like that. With me, I think it is slightly different.
Having been abused as a child I’ve spent all my life looking over my shoulder, searching for the reasons for what happened to me. I’m now 61 and have had a wonderful life. I’m married to Jill, I have three step children and three grandchildren. I am so proud of them all. I’ve made many mistakes, said many things that I can’t take back and hurt some of the closest people in my life. I have had a life of anger and I now realise I’ve got a big mouth. But, the most important thing that I’ve learned over many years is that I am not as hard as I thought I was. All my life I have been wearing armour to protect myself from other people. Yet through these last two years I have had to come to terms with my past, my relationship with my brothers and my mother. My father is dead. He died never being proud of anything that I ever did and I couldn’t do anything to make him proud.
Over the last three years I’ve done, in my opinion, two of the proudest things that I could have ever done as a man and a son. But my dad is dead and I can’t tell him. I saved a life and I went to court for justice; not only for me, but for the other five “victims.” I have spent months awake; worrying, crying, traumatized by events beyond my control. I got through it, coming out of the darkness a better person.
The aim of this blog is to tell the world what happened to me; the truth, not just a piece of fiction. I am determined to fight for the abuse to stop. Today, child abuse is at a greater level than ever. Ok, the TV and the internet help to get the message out, but they are also the vehicle of its distribution. I believe that it is getting worse. I hope that my story will help people come to terms with what happened to them, give them strength to come forward. You are not alone. I know, take it from someone who knows; you are not alone. I have never had one day counselling, enough people have tried to get me to. But to me that would show weakness; that sums me up. What a load of crap. That’s something I’ve learned. I am forever grateful to the friends that I have, who over the last couple of years have listened to me. Yes, counselling is to talk to anyone you’re happy talking to. Again, I would like to thank them all.
Having been to court, having got a conviction, I am still no closer to getting any form of compensation. I find all this Legal stuff a bit baffling. I don’t quite understand. As I said in my first post, I’m not the brightest. I am not going to give up; where there is life, there is hope. The most important thing is, “the fight continues.” This is a quote by Jeff Anderson, a man I was very proud to meet.
If you were abused by Robinson, may I invite you to join my blog, talk and, as I said, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” You have my personal assurance of that.
It took me 51 years to figure that out.