Tag Archives: paedophilia

3 August 2011

5. Paedophile

By Geoff Smith

Robinson used to take me to his mother’s house probably twice a week. Every week for I would say, three months. It was always the same routine, him laying on me and thrusting, me wanking him off, the kissing, the drowning inside my chest. I switched off. He never tried anal sex. But what he did to me was, as the police told me 51 years later, rape.

I switched off mentally, but emotionally no. The worst thing that he did to me was the kissing, the tongue down my throat. It was and still is pure terror. That and the fact that I was short of my next breath. Yes I was drowning. Of course, looking back, not only was I in a very dangerous situation, I firmly believe today, here and now, the next step for him, the paedophile Jimmy Robinson, would be murder. That is the next step. We all know the cases of child murder. It seems always to go from the act of paedophilia to murder. They want to cover their tracks.

Over the course of the next three months, I would be coming out of school, in Tynings Lane and Robinson would be waiting for me. It got to the point where I would come out of Quicksand Lane. I would make my way back to home avoiding being seen or followed. But Jimmy Robinson would always wait for me. And if I wasn’t there, he would come to my home to collect me. Often when I came out of school he would be at my home, with my mother, having cake and tea. Laying in wait for me to arrive, so he could take me to his “mother’s house.” This went on for months.

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30 July 2011

7. Trust No One

By Geoff Smith

So as far as I was concerned, this was the last I would ever have to do with this homosexual, Jimmy Robinson.  I say “homosexual” because that’s what I thought Robinson was.  It wasn’t until I got to about 40 years of age when I suddenly heard a new word, paedophile.  Upon using a dictionary I found out that my abuser was a paedophile, not a homosexual.  That confusion, that fear and misunderstanding, is just one of the after effects of my abuse.

Over the years, I have seen hundreds of reports in the newspapers to do with priests going to court for abusing children.  I have never shied away from wanting to know about the subject or to try and find the whereabouts of my abuser.  But I never came across anything.  I have often thought about my abuse, wondered about any other victims.  But something always told me Jimmy Robinson was dead and rotting in hell.  With this, I was happy.

The abuse I suffered and the experiences that I had to endure, had a terrible effect on my life.   These visions of Robinson, live with me every day.  But I learned from a very early age to bottle things up, to switch my mind off.  I became very hard mentally, take it or leave it.  I have had to learn to look after number one, stuff everyone else.

When the abuse happened, I look back to my schooldays, when they should have been the best days of my life.  I see now that I withdrew, went back into my shell.  I am ashamed that for the next 4 years at school, I sat looking out of the window.  I switched off, I wouldn’t, or should I say couldn’t, learn anything at school.  I am ashamed that I have never passed one exam, not one.

In the last year of my schooling, I spent nearly all of the year in the metalwork shops, with a school teacher named Mr. Sam Taylor.  I never confided to him of my abuse, but I think he suspected there was something wrong with me, or should I say he thought I had troubles.  For nearly a year I spent all my school hours cleaning, tidying and generally helping this teacher in any way I could.

Or is this the story of an idle mind.  As I say I could never concentrate.

I have had 51 years to lock away my demons, lock away my childhood, hide my innermost fears.  The main thing I learned, so many years ago, was that I am a survivor.  I was victimized, but chose to get on with my life.  I am what I am, you see what you see.  If you don’t like me, that’s fine.  I stick up for number one, me.  I’ve always had to.  I say what I think.  I come straight to the point.

I learned one thing, trust no one and I won’t get hurt.

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7 July 2011

16. All My Life I Had Never Cried

By Geoff Smith

All my life I’ve never cried.  But now, I’m an emotional  freak.

It was mid December and the police came to Ireland to interview J and my Doctor.  When the officers arrived, I insisted that they come to the house in an unmarked car, so that the neighbours would have no reason to talk about a police car on my property. The Irish are wonderful people but they are, to say the least, nosy.  The officers were accompanied by an Irish police sergeant who legally had to take my wife’s statement and physically hand it over to the UK police.  It was quite surreal.

Whilst J was being interviewed, HM sat in the front room answering my questions.  I asked to see the video of Paul Kenyon Confronts.  He took it out of his pocket and asked me to think.  If I did not see the video my testimony would be my recollections and not the info gleaned from a TV programme.  I agreed with him.  HM said he would let me have the video after the trial and this he did do.

During that time I was assured that I would be meeting the Prosecution Barrister, but this did not work out.  Whilst all this was going on work dropped off, owing to the state of the financial crisis.  This was another stick to beat myself with, a lot less work, less cash and more time to think about my dire situation.  For weeks and months my head was all courts, abuse, Robinson, nightmares, no sleep and too much time to spare.  It was a terrible time.  The only thing that really kept me going was J and my two brothers.  They phoned once a week to see how I was.  C always says to me that he sends all his love.  This I find very strange, not a bad feeling, but I can’t get used to it.  It took a paedophile 50 years ago to bring us all together.

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1 July 2011

17. “Deliver Us from Evil”

By Geoff Smith

At this most traumatic time if my life The Murphy Report was published in Ireland.  So I was surrounded by TV programmes and newspaper coverage of this age old problem of paedophilia.  We all know the reasons why this is allowed to continue.  The church puts up its shutters and weathers the storm of public hostility.  The Church has had many centuries to work out their defence.

What they really show is their utter contempt for Christianity and the weakest, most vulnerable members of our Society.  I am still deeply shocked.  It was, of course, only a matter of time for the next time bomb to explode, The Cloyne Report to emerge from its State imposed coffin.

This was also the time that, one night, I looked on TV to see a film,” Deliver us from Evil.”  The film was  Directed by Amy Burg.  I have to admit I’ve watched this film on at least 4 occasions, each time by myself as Jill refuses to watch it.  The subject is appalling, but it is the subject that has affected me all my life.  Yet I can watch it. I can admit to you that I always cry.  I am always affected by victims and their families.

I even wrote a letter to Bob, Maria and Anne Jyono.  I emailed the letter to Jeff Anderson to forward it for me, as I had no way of getting the address.  He told me he would forward it for me, but as I have never received a reply, maybe they didn’t get it.

But I must say I am very disappointed.  For many, many decades Ireland exported paedophile priests throughout the world.  But now Ireland imports convicted paedophiles who, having served their sentences, are coming home to Ireland to re-offend.  What this film did for me was to make me truly aware that I am not alone.  Like many other victims, we all share the same fears.  I have been advised by my Doctor, my family, the police and a Judge to get counseling.  But as I have never been offered any I will go without.  I seem to feel that to get counseling I am admitting that he has beaten me.  No, I take the attitude that I am stronger than the after effects Robinson has left me with.

I would, hand on heart, advise anyone in my situation to watch Amy Burg’s film and to read Colm O Gorman’s book, “Beyond Belief.”  This I have read 4 or 5 times.  The man is an inspiration to me, his life, his strength, how he coped with such an appalling childhood.  It is my belief that this man should be Ireland’s next President.  That is the position I would put him in.  I hope one day to meet the man.

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12 June 2011

22. Bored, Worried, Anxious…

By Geoff Smith

It was now that I was told about the priest coming from Northern Ireland to give evidence; I asked if he was for prosecution or the defence, he told me that he was for the prosecution.  His evidence was that as a Child Protection Officer in the Birmingham Diocese in 1985 he reported to the police, and the Bishop, three cases of abuse by Robinson.  He went on to explain that the church got the investigation dropped.  The police did nothing.  The church did nothing.  I was not told the name of the priest.  But after the trial I was told it was Fr McA, from Antrim.

As it happened, after the trial, I was told that Fr McA did not attend the trial, owing to ill health.  But his statement was read out and accepted by both sides.

After two hours with me the police left, saying that they would be in touch with me as to when to appear.  I spent the next 10 days bored, worried, anxious and, I would say, partly terrified waiting for my time in court.  I had had many months to get very scared about giving my story to the court.  What personally was the worst was the public gallery.  This I feared.

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16 May 2011

29. The Verdict

By Geoff Smith

My brothers and I sat outside the courtroom, still waiting.  The jury had been out for 5 hours, over two days.  Today was Friday 22 October 2010.  We were sitting there seemingly waiting, in a state of nervousness, anticipation and dread.

Miss R appeared, and said, “The barristers for both sides have been summoned to the Judge’s chambers for tea.”  I enquired what this meant and I was told that, “it always happens when the jury have reached their verdict.  Soon we will be in court.”  It was 12 noon.  At 12.30 we were ushered into the courtroom.  I sat next to GS, less than 8 feet away from where Robinson would be seated.

A door opened and in came Robinson.  He sat down, having never taken his eyes away from the Judge’s chair.  This was it, Robinson, the former professional boxer, winner of 31 professional fights.  I can now recall thinking, will he be winning his 32nd fight?  The outcome of this fight would be felt by all the victims, their families, the Police and, more importantly, Robinson.  After all, it was given in evidence that he never lost a professional fight.  Would the now grown up lads end his distinguished career record?  We all hoped and prayed we would.

The Judge entered and we all stood up.  I looked at Robinson and I saw an old man, having aged many years over the last few hours.  He looked vulnerable, scared and somewhat “not quite with us” as we all sat down.  The Judge asked the foreman of the jury, “have you reached a verdict?”  The foreman responded “yes.”

The Judge then went on to ask the most important question of the trial:  “On charge No 1, do you find the accused guilty or not guilty?

G and I looked at the foreman.

“Guilty.”

I grasped G’s hand and the Judge asked the foreman for the answers to the other 20 charges.

On each charge James Robinson was found guilty.

I still cannot believe the atmosphere.  There was no sound at all in court, no talking, no rejoicing, no nothing.  Then at the end of the charges the Judge adjourned the court for ten minutes.  The court stood up and the Judge walked out.  I looked at the clock.  It was 12.45 pm.  We all remained seated, not wanting to leave our seats.  Robinson too remained seated.  I watched him, there was a tear in his eyes.  The tear didn’t run down his face, that would have shown weakness.  But his eyes were far from dry.  I thought to myself, now he feels the threat, the pain, and the fact that everything happening is out of his control.

I thought, welcome to how we felt, as young lads, the difference is, you deserve the feeling, we did not.

At five to one, the court arose, and the Judge walked back in, taking his place, Lord of all he surveyed.  He spoke to the barristers for both sides and then, having reviewed some notes, looked up at Robinson.  It was now.  Now was the time that Robinson’s professional career would take a nose dive.  He had lost his 32nd fight, the most important fight of his career.  In fact, the most important fight of his life.  The grown up little lads had won, now it was time for the Official Referee to announce the score.

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13 May 2011

30. The Score

By Geoff Smith

The Honourable Patrick Thomas QC started his sentencing speech.  He looked straight at Robinson and said, “you are the most wicked, evil man I have ever had brought before me.”  He went on to tell the court of his findings,“it is not my job here today, but I recommend that there should  be a Public Enquiry into the handling of this priest by The Birmingham Diocese and, in particular, the Catholic Church.”  He spent, I would say, 10 minutes elaborating on the handling of this case not only by the Church, but also the Police.  The failing in 1985 by the Police, when the church got the investigation dropped.

Judge Thomas sentenced Robinson to jail for 21 years and stipulated that he cannot be put forward for parole for 14 years.  Having heard this, I was shocked; such a long time.  He then told the Prison Staff to take him away.  I looked at Robinson for the last time.  Yes he hurt me and the other lads, but I felt sorry.  I took my share of the guilt for putting an old man in prison for such a long time.  But that soon disappeared as the Judge said, “he has never shown any kind of remorse.”

Yes he got what he deserved.  21 years for raping children.  21 years for a lifetime of offences, stretching back over 51 years.  His door opened, he went out, the door closed, and that was that.

Judge Thomas thanked the jury for what he described as a truly horrendous case and then I think he relieved them of jury service for life.  He turned to G and I and thanked us for being so brave to come forward to face our Demons.  He thanked the other victims, who were scared to come to court to hear the conclusion.  He thanked the police, the CPS and the Court Staff.  Upon this the court arose and the Judge walked out of our lives.  But I will never forget that man.

From the moment I first met Patrick Thomas I was put at ease and treated with compassion.  But I had just witnessed the other side of a genuine human being, his controlled anger.  He had, in fact, turned on Robinson.  He left no stone unturned, telling the prisoner of his wicked life, of rape, and betrayal of all he had been ordained to do.

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10 May 2011

31. THANK YOU ALL

By Geoff Smith

As soon as the Judge left the court, I shook G’s hand.  I then stood up and walked forward to Mr H, who is a small built, athletic kind of man.  I put my arms around him and picked him up off the ground.  I think I kissed him, whilst trying to say thank you, whilst crying.  I put him down and went to Miss R.  I again picked up this little Lady, I kissed her, again trying to express my, gratitude, my thanks, my appreciation.  It is my belief that such small words, thank you, they are so small, but I do not and will not ever find other words to express my appreciation better than these.

I walked out of the courtroom, at which point I kissed all the female officers of the police.  I think there were 4.  I hugged HM, I hugged LM.  The emotion was flowing, I was running on pure adrenalin.  I forgot, I kissed my brothers.  They had stood by me through thick and thin, a life time apart, but together when I needed them.

Thank you all.

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5 May 2011

32. “We Knew He Was Guilty”

By Geoff Smith

For the 6 days that I was in court I had often looked at a man in a green suit sitting at the back of the court taking notes.  I do not know who this man was, but after sitting, looking, many times our eyes made contact, we both looked at each other.  I often wondered what he was doing, what he was thinking?  He would then go back to making notes.  Each time that Robinson had been stood down,the barristers and this man would go out of the door together with the prisoner.

I always considered that I, or should I say “we,” were on the good side.  So that would make him part of the bad side.  We stood in the public area outside the court room, he was talking on the phone.  As I was walking past him he put away his phone and this is what happened.  He put his hand out to me and I shook it.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “We always knew you were all telling the truth, we knew from day one.  We knew he was guilty.”  As we were still holding hands, I looked him in the eyes and said “thank you, that means more to me than anything that went on in that court.”

Having said thank you, the police called me over, as they were going to the pub to celebrate.  I agreed and my brothers also needed a drink.  As Sky News was doing a live broadcast at the front of the building, the police took us out the back of the court.  As we were walking about a ¼ mile to the pub I phoned J on my mobile phone, whereupon she said she was watching the live broadcast, live on TV back in Ireland.  We got to the pub, it was about, 1.30 pm and the pub was busy.  LM got the drinks in and I was standing talking to Mr. B, the man who led the investigation.  I was taking my chance to thank him personally for his fantastic staff, without whom, this case would have been dead in the water.  We had a drink with the Officers, GS and his brother P were there.  We were all  having a laugh and a joke, talking about Robinson’s 32nd fight, the one that he lost, when in walks the man in the green suit.

He went to the bar and the police bought him a drink, which I found most strange.  I suddenly had this urge to talk more to the man.  I went up to him and said hello.  I then went on to say the following, “thank you for your words outside the court, they mean so much to me, it helps me realize that what we had achieved was fantastic, getting that monster off the streets.”  He said “I am telling you, we knew that you were all telling the truth from day one.  We knew he was guilty.  He should have pleaded guilty, but he would not do it.  He wants to die an innocent man.”

He then asked me, and I quote, “do you really know what you are up against?”   I replied, “the church.”  He said, “I was once sent to Los Angeles for three days to get Diocesan employment records. They would not talk to me.  Then I was sent to the Vatican, again for three days, to get the information from their records.  They would not talk to me.  If they won’t talk to me, who will they talk to?”  Once again, I thanked him for his honesty, shook his hand and went back to my brothers.

Having had my one drink, I again thanked all present.  Then my brothers and I walked out, back to the station.  We boarded the train, and home we went.  I parted with B and C, a couple of stops before I got to mine.  I hugged and kissed them both, and thanked them for their support.

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4 May 2011

33. Liberated

By Geoff Smith

Having arrived home, and gone over with J what went on in court (I believe the Military call it a debrief) life slowly got back to its ebb and flow.  I got back into work and all seemed well.  I went to visit a friend of mine, the legal advisor.  I went for morning coffee, free legal advice and another session of debriefing.  I have to say, as one who has never been offered or taken counselling, I can wholeheartedly, from my experience, advise anyone to talk; if not to a counselor, talk to a friend.  I know, take it from me; it does help.  I know this from my own experience.  Oh yes, I also walked out of the legal advisor’s house with three weeks work, decorating the whole of the interior of his Georgian farmhouse.  Is that lucky or what?  It was very instructive to him as well as me, telling my side of the legal story, telling of my experiences with the Law.

I also, as matter of urgency, put in a claim for my expenses for the trial.  I was paid for my ferry ticket, diesel and for the two days in the witness box.  I was assured by the Police that my expenses for my original interview of August 09, as well as the three weeks waiting time at the court, would be paid, when the church paid my compensation.

I took the time to write after a few weeks, when what had happened to me had finally sunk in.  When I had had time to think about what had gone on.  I wrote to the West Midlands Police, The CPS, The Crown Court Staff and the Judge, each one in turn.  I thanked them for their patience, consideration, compassion and their Professionalism.  I would stand by all four.  I was very proud to be associated with them, they did a magnificent job.  Those are the feelings of all the victims and the witnesses.  I told the police to phone me if at any time they have a victim of child sexual abuse and they would like someone who has been there, who knows what they are going through, to talk with them.  I would advise them to go forward, but I would not persuade them.  I know it is up to you, not anyone else.  I did it, I am proud I did it.  I would do it again.

On a personal level I would use the word “liberated.”  That’s how it made me feel.

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