34. No Bullshit

In early December I phoned the Police and was given the names and addresses of the other 5 victims who testified at Robinson’s trial.  I thought long and hard, what to do.  Finally, I sent each one a lovely Christmas card and, as well as my best wishes, I enclosed my letterhead, so at least they would know who sent it.  I waited and waited for weeks, no response.  So I put it down to their choice.  I offered my hand of friendship, so I felt happy with what I did.  Was it the right thing to do?  I don’t know, who knows?  But that’s me.

After Christmas I watched, Amy Berg’s, “Deliver us from Evil” for maybe the fifth time.  I again would recommend this film to anyone.  It is a moving, heart wrenching story.  I am so impressed with the characters, not playing a role, but real people, abused, just like me.  Yes, like me their story goes on.  I watched a man called Jeff Anderson, an Attorney in the USA.  I wondered if he could help me.  I looked up his web page and sent a message in a box.  Off went the email.  Well, I presumed it went off, I’m not very good with Technology.  The day after I was at home when the phone went and Jill answered it.  She walked into my TV room and said, “there is some American on the phone.”  I seriously thought she was winding me up, but no.

I recognised the voice from the film, it was Jeff Anderson.  He talked to me for twenty minutes.  I asked “can you help me?”  He replied that he could and then invited me to London in early January 2011.  He said he would pay my expenses so I thought I would give it a go.

I was working, and counting down the days.  I was getting very excited.  I’ve never met a film star.  I flew into Heathrow and was met at the arrivals by P, a very nice young man, very keen, very professional.  We took a taxi, or should I say a cab, arriving at Lincoln’s Inn Fields at 10.15am, when the press briefing started at 10.00.  I was so sorry I was late.  To me punctuality is like clean shoes.  It’s just the thing to do.  P and I sat down and were listening to the speakers.  After about,1/2 an hour I suddenly thought I had left my phone switched on and low and behold the bloody thing went off.  I sat there, hand in pocket, trying to kill my phone, especially as my ring tone is a police siren.  I managed to kill it, I apologised to the speakers.  Jeff Anderson, said, and I loosely quote, “I’ve been accused of chasing them.”  I felt two feet tall.  But no one was dead.

After Ann Olivarius had spoken, Jeff opened up to the group gathered and me and my big gob went into action.  I think I stood up and asked the following, “Mr Anderson, how do you keep going, day in, day out, banging your head up against the Vatican wall?”  I was very impressed with his answer.  I think it went like this, “I get angry, I cry, and I try my best to help.  But most important, I listen and I believe them.”  That answer, to someone who has been abused, was very important.  Because, abuse, all our lives, it’s not just the physical act of abuse, it’s not the fact that some bastard raped you, it’s the fact especially in my case of who would believe you?  That’s what is important; to be listened to, to be believed.  After the questions were finished, I stood with P and D, waiting like a fish out of water, to meet Jeff.  He put his arms around me.  I hugged him with tears in my eyes and I thanked him for his help.  After a couple of minutes talking, I shook his hand, looked him in the eye, and said, “Jeffrey, can I ask for one thing, and one thing only?  No bullshit, I can’t stand bullshit.  If you want me to piss off, tell me.  But no bullshit.”  Jeff agreed, “no bullshit.”

After the meeting, P and I went back to the Office.   D and I went to Lunch with L.  I was very impressed, I am still impressed, and may I take this opportunity, to say a big thank you to you all.  Whilst in London, I was given a copy of the official court documents and the Judge’s summing up.  This makes fascinating reading, but also shocking.  It reveals the true extent of the crimes committed by the church and by Robinson.

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